I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
