Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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