Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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