So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
