dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
