Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
