OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just blew my weed a kiss
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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