It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
