O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
