What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
