I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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