She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
