Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
