walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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