I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
