he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
