if i can run in heels then i can drive
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
FUCK WHALES
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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