I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
