how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
