I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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