Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
