hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
