I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
