Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He kissed a someone with a penis
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
