I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
She announced her abortion via fbk
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
