remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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