dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
