Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
