I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
