K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
