Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
