I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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