Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
did i walk over a car last night?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
