Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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