Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
operation harelip BJ is a go
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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