Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I understand Curling. That high.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Randomize
