Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
