My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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