Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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