Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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