ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
