watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
