i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
