I want to stick my p in your. b.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
