he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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