She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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