brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
