I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
whose parrot is this?
3 2 1 whiskey
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
