Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
