Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
