Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
