Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
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