Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
